Feng Shui – Elemental Energies

Simply For The Art Of Watercolor

As, I wandered through the little shops lining the main street, in the quaint New England town of Groton, Massachusetts, one particular store caught my attention. Its delightful storefront window decorated with all sorts of home decor and holiday gifts, called to me. Lately, I am completely drawn to table settings. I love the artful way they tell the stories of our most cherished gatherings. And as I meandered around the little shop, it did not disappoint. Sparkly Christmas decorations, inspirational holiday tables, and all the clever little gift ideas! Everywhere I looked was like candy for my eyes!

Yet, once again I found myself standing in the tiny room off to the side, surrounded by art supplies. I stood there staring at the watercolor paints, feeling the urge to buy some. But I have all these paints at home, I thought, trying to convince myself not to pick some up and head straight to the cash register. But just then, a little book caught my eye, and as I reached across the shelf to pick it up, I realized it was a watercolor workbook. Well, I certainly don’t have one of these at home, I thought as thumbed through the pages.

As I wrote in a previous blog post, “The Art of Curiosity,” I had been looking for a way to bring some fun into my “a little to predictable” life, and I had brought some art supplies up from the basement, which ironically, just happened to be watercolor paints.

I had set my intention to do some painting, though I hadn’t really done much else but think about it. I guess I was kind of waiting to see what the universe had to say about it. But speaking of it, it did, because I had been looking for a way to start painting again, and this little book was perfect! So I scooped it up and off to the cash register I went.

For the first few days, the little workbook just stayed in the bag, then it came out of the bag only to lay on the kitchen table for a couple more days. I don’t know why, but I was a bit intimidated by it. I didn’t want to make any mistakes, or mess up the book. And then my husband inquired, “are you going to do anything with that, or just let it sit there?” I’m going to paint!” I snapped, “I just haven’t had time.” Of course, I had time, I was just afraid to start. I didn’t want to make a mistake.

But by day three, I decided I was just going to go for it. After all, what is the worst that could happen, I thought. So I make a mistake, there are a lot more pictures left in the book, and that’s how we learn right? I mused to myself, as set up my paints and opened the workbook.

As I nervously dipped my brush into the water, and started to paint, something interesting started to happen. I slowed down, grew patient, and as I swirled my brush around in the water, dabbing the colors on to the paper, my mind grew quiet. I started to loose myself in the very act of painting. I felt calm and grounded, no ruminating about daily problems, the dinner that had to be made, or the chores left to finish. Just me and the colors and shapes and the delightful way the paint spread across the paper, with each new brush stroke.

Suddenly without warning, an hour had passed, the sun had sunk deep into the horizon and the house had grown dark. And I was happily surprised with a painting. Huh, it’s not bad, I thought, as I pack up my things and put them back in the cabinet. I guess the Universe had something to say after all, and all I had to do with listen!

The “Five Senses” Of Feng Shui

Photo by Hou00e0ng Phu01b0u01a1ng Nguyu1ec5n on Pexels.com

Whenever someone asks me about Feng Shui, I am always met with some version of, “Isn’t that the thing that tells you where to put your couch?” Or “I don’t believe in that stuff, it’s to woo woo!” Or “I don’t want to show you my house, it is filled with clutter and I am sure I have bad Feng Shui!” And one of my favorites, “Feng Shui is too complicated and “I don’t want to put a bunch of silly trinkets all over my house!”

My answer is straightforward, “yes, it can be all that, and it doesn’t have to be any of that.” To which I am always met with a bunch of blank stares. But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be overly complicated. One can simply start with the basics, using the Five Senses.

So often, we make things more complicated than they need to be. Usually there is the urge to do too much or “fix” a perceived problem, while at the same time, not being clear about our intentions. I felt the same way when I first came across Feng Shui more than two decades ago. I started to install all sorts of “cures” to make my life more balanced. I wanted a better job, to have more money and find a good partner. But instead, all that happened was I got frustrated, disillusioned, and ended up throwing my new book in the garbage.

Of course, we still have to do the mundane work, but it’s best to start simple. Feng Shui is all about our relationship to our home and surroundings. What we see, hear, smell, touch and taste in our environment can have a greater impact on us than we might think. And simply adjusting one thing, such as the first thing we see when we enter our home or the smells that greet us as soon as we walk through the door, can make us relax with pleasure or zap the energy right out of us.

My friend Michael was a very “woodsy” kind of guy. He loved the outdoors, but had to relocate from the suburbs into the city for a new job. Though he loved his job, the bustle of the streets and his cramped new apartment, not so much. He was not a fan of Feng Shui, but he did agree to make some very minor adjustments to bring in more harmony. A few artfully placed fishing poles hung on the wall and a new plug-in diffuser that filled the air with the sent of fresh pine, was all it took. Instantly, his home gave him a warm welcome as he stepped through the door.

Which of the five senses would you like to invite into your home?

Sight – Use the door as a portal to draw you eye forward toward a beautiful piece of art or sculpture or the soft light of a lamp on a side table in the entry.

Smell – Have a diffuser with your favorite scent to fragrantly greet you as you step through the threshold.

Touch – Rest tired feet on a soft plush rug as you step through the door, or a cushioned bench to sit down on.

Hearing – The calming sound of a gentle wind chime or the relaxing trickle of a water fountain near the door.

Taste – Display a basket of fresh fruit on a table or fresh herbs on a kitchen windowsill to inspire a healthy snack after a long day of activities.

It can be as simple as that. Using a little Feng Shui and our five senses, we can make a ho-hum transition from the outside world into a transformation of a home that immediately gives us a welcoming hug.

How Certain Elements Can Get Stuck In Challenging Relationships

“I can’t even talk! It is almost as if I could just put the phone down and go do something else and he would’t even know I was gone!” Mary uttered in a mixture of exasperation and irritation, as we sipped our coffee. Maybe you need better boundaries, I calmly replied, as I stirred my coffee, waiting for her usual reply. “I do have boundaries,” Mary grumbled. “No one listens to them.” Hmm, I thought. “There is a difference between asking and setting,” I gently replied. “What exactly are you getting at?” Mary snapped, as she broke off a small piece of her muffin. “Let’s talk some 9 Star Ki,” I replied, and grinned as Mary sighed.

We have all been there, stuck in a bad relationship and wondering how we got there. Even when we’ve done the work, have reasonably good boundaries, and consider ourselves to be psychologically aware, how do we sometimes find ourselves caught up in unhealthy relationships?

Of course, there are many good reasons why some of us get stuck in challenging relationships, and those circumstances are beyond the scope of this blog. But from a 9 Star Ki perspective, there are some very positive traits that certain Elemental personalities hold in their core that also have the potential to keep them trapped.

Empathy, compassion, nurturing and an open heart are a few of those wonderful qualities, but those same traits can sometimes keep us tangled up in toxic relationships.

Mary is strongly an Earth Element personality. These folks are the caregivers. They carry a calm, grounded and stable essence. Like the rich soil of the earth, they nurture and support us. But because of their strong sense of loyalty and compassion, they can have trouble setting boundaries.

In fact, Earth people can feel quite guilty about saying no to someone’s request or not being able to be there when a friend or family member needs them. Even if it is logistically not possible. And because they have the ability to be so supportive, Earth element people can sometimes take on too much of the emotional burden, be too willing to be the container that holds another’s emotions.

And that is what happened to Mary. In her honest desire to help her friend, she had become too much of his emotional support system. So much so, that he became too dependent on her for his emotional regulation and even though she knew this, and could feel it starting to affect her own life, she felt too guilty to say something or to set boundaries.

Often, Earth people don’t ask for what they need, because they sometimes secretly wish the other person would just know what they wanted. Earth Element folks are so wonderfully aware of other peoples needs, they sometimes assume the same is true for them. But what can happen when they don’t ask for help is that they become depleted, which can turn into angry resentment, then they stop giving. And their nurturing, compassionate and grounding essence starts to dim.

And we don’t what that to happen, because we need our Earth Element folks! They bring such empathy, compassion and nurturing energy into the world. But that is what was starting to happen to Mary.

And so, that day over coffee we talked about the many wonderful Earth Element qualities and challenges. The need for Mary to set boundaries, not to request them. To limit the amount of time she spent on the phone listening to her friend’s problems. Instead of calling every week, maybe talking every two weeks and only for a half-hour.

Mary was so good at helping her friends and family and holding space for them, but not so good at doing so for herself. We spoke about the importance of setting some quality time aside to fill her own emotions container of wants and needs. I suggested finding new hobbies and activities that nourished her spirit and brought in some calm and grounding energy. And because Mary loves to cook, we talked about how preparing a nice meal to share with friends and family was a perfect way to “feed” her soul. Or simply, just having a nice cup of coco in her big comfy chair, all snuggled up with a good book and a warm plate of holiday cookies!