nine-star-ki – Elemental Energies

Oh My Fluffy White Nemesis!

Recently I’ve written a lot about the Water Element. Maybe because here in the Northeast we are stuck in the throws of a particularly brutal winter. We’ve got more than we asked for in snow and frigid temperatures. In fact, if anyone needs some extra of either, we have plenty to spare!

I am not a winter enthusiast, I loathe it. As my husband will tell you, anytime we get an ounce of snow, I have a mini meltdown. I can’t tell you how many time my heart has sunk into my chest as I made my way down the stairs, only to look out at yet another unexpected snowfall blanketing the driveway. “It’s nature, you can’t control it,” my husband calmly, and ever so slightly amused, responds to my exasperation at the sight of my fluffy white nemesis.

Winter just feels so long and isolating. It is supposed to, I know. “But I have a lot of Fire Element in my personality and I need warmth and sun,” I grumbled to my friend Theresa, while we sipped on jalapeño martinis during a recent “girls night out” dinner. “Yeah, it’s been harsh,” she acknowledged, taking a bite of her pasta. “But come July, we are going to be whining about the sweltering 90 degree weather!” “Fair enough,” I agreed, as we switched the topic to AI.

And that’s just it, some people are fine with winter, the ones who like to hibernate in the basement playing video games or watching movies. Perhaps for the folks out on the ski slopes, or for those to whom social interaction and human contact is not such a big deal. Actually, for those people, too much human interaction can be a real drag on their nervous system. But those of us for which community and socialization are vital, the quiet solitude of winter can be a bit underwhelming and depressing.

In fact, solitude of any kind can be challenging for certain types of Fire Element personalities, especially if it represents their evolutionary path and core issue in life. These are the open-hearted individuals, for whom connecting with others is essential. But sometimes, in their zeal to make others feel loved and seen, this same trait can make them a bit of a pleaser. And hidden beneath that, lies the fear of rejection.

One of my favorite 9 Star Ki mentors told such a story about a client of their’s, who they had worked with many years ago. The client had recently moved to a new city and felt lonely and isolated. In her desire to make new friends, she often spent hours sitting in the office of her apartment complex listening to people come in and spew out all their problems. However, she did not get paid to sit and listen to these people, and they were not her friends. They just came to unload their frustrations and leave feeling better.

Because her heart was so open and she craved friends, she lacked discernment and boundaries. Instead of finding new friends, she became a lonely service provider. And the fear of rejection resulted in her spending too much time in the office, which prevented her from discovering healthier relationships, and more enjoyable ways to socialize.

But fortunately, with some gentle coaching from my 9 Star Ki mentor, she eventually did move on from the office, and found more pleasurable ways to meet people.

As for me, I think I’ll hideout in the warmth of my cozy kitchen. Imagining balmy summer days, while creating savory suppers and comfort food to enjoy with my family and friends. And as we gather around the table in the solace of good company, we’ll raise our jalapeño martinis in a toast to the coming spring.

So take that my fluffy white nemesis! Even though Punxsutawney Phil has predicted six more weeks of winter, you can’t hold off those daffodils forever! And as for old man winter, yeah… I don’t think we’re going to be friends.

Understanding the Water Element in Human Life

The current image has no alternative text. The file name is: image-2.png

The Water Element: Deep and Powerful

In winter life seems quiet and hidden. Bare tree branches are etched across the sky and layers of snow blanket the frozen ground. But deep beneath the surface, concealed in the cold, dark earth, transformation is happening as the seeds slowly begin to grow and strengthen, silently waiting for the coming of spring.

And like the small trickle of melting snow winding its way down the mountain slope, softly moving around obstacles and joining together with more droplets to create rivers that slowly carve and shape the earth, water is determined.

Powerful, deep, mysterious and persistent – this is the essence of the Water Element. In human life, these are the intuitive, courageous and adventurous people. They carry a deep inner wisdom and can be quite philosophical and innovative. And although they appear easy going, Water Element people have strong independent natures, and don’t easily share their thoughts or emotions with the outside world. In fact, they can be quite secretive.

Water people need a great deal of freedom and flexibility in life. It can be torture for them to be stuck in a 9 to 5 job wearing a suit every day. In fact, they would actually prefer to be working horizontally. Whether lounging on the sofa, bed or recliner, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s not sitting at a desk!

One familiar pattern of Water Element people is their ability to push through difficult situations. They have tremendous courage and tenacity, but they can be challenged by the emotion of fear. Water Energy is about the unknown. It’s a deep, dark mysterious world beneath the surface, and fear is alway about the unknown. Water people carry this essence within them and under stress they can withdraw or become overly cautious and unable to move forward or make decisions. At the extreme, they may even become afraid to communicate their feelings.

A peek into the Water Element Personality:

Once, when I was on a plane traveling to North Carolina, I was seated next to a woman in her early 60’s. She’d noticed that I was reading a book about the Nine Star Ki, and as the plane started to land, her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked me about the book. After I gave her a brief description of the Ki and the Five Elements, she began to tell me her story.

Her career required her to travel a lot and and she loved it, but she wanted to retire. When I asked her why she didn’t, she told me about her husband who had been out of work for quite some time, and how he had secretly taken most of the money out of her retirement fund and spent it. Of course, once she found out, she filed for divorce, but now she would have to work longer than she had planned to. As I do with almost everyone I meet, I asked for her birthdate and gave her a quick description of her energetic patterns and the yearly cycle she was in. But when I explained her husband’s patterns and his yearly cycle, well, she was kind of stunned. She was Wood Element, and he was Water Element. And sometimes Water Element people have the tendency to be very secretive under stress and only tell you what they think you need to know. And this is just what happened. He was secretly and slowly taking the money over time, and like water gradually leaking out of a swimming pool, he literally “drained” her bank account. He was also in a 9 Fire year, which is a year of illumination and if you are hiding something that you don’t want to be seen, it can more easily come to light.

Although we had limited time to delve into her situation, she was astonished by the accuracy of the Nine Star Ki and how it illuminated some of the challenges she faced with her husband.

Holiday Elemental Emotions – Naughty or Nice?

Photo by Alexandre Canteiro on Pexels.com

Ah, the holiday season is upon us and with it comes all the joys, or rather, challenges of the grumpier side of the Five Elements.

One of the most useful parts of my studies in Nine Star Ki, has been being able to navigate the holidays and those sometimes (let’s be real – most of the time) challenging personalities of family. It has been such a great tool for me in learning how not to take things too personally.

Because there is always that sibling who has a blowup every year, the critical aunt who nitpicks every detail or the nosy brother in-law who asks too many questions. And none of us are the best version of ourselves under stress and the season’s festivities can sometimes wake up the peppery side of our emotional patterns.

So, I thought I would make a list of the “naughty and nice” attributes of each of the Five Element during the holiday season. Feel free to use this as a guide at your own holiday gatherings with friends and family. Maybe even having a little fun with it, to see if you can tell which Element is being nice or naughty!

Wood Element folks are the creative, optimistic go getter people. “Beginning, middle, end, move on,” is their motto. They definitely get things done. But under pressure or feeling blocked, the emotional nature of Wood can snap and become easily frustrated, impatient or at the extreme, angry. However, like a loud clap of thunder, their outbursts usually pass quickly. And while the rest of us non Wood Element people try and settle our nerves, they can easily bounce back to their optimistic selves, and wonder why everyone else is so upset.

Fire Element people are lovable, warm and charming. They are animated and humorous, always cracking little jokes to lighten the mood. Truly the life of the party. But on the emotional side, when they get overexcited, anxious or feel rejected there can be big drama! Usually resulting in tears but at the extreme a dramatic explosion of emotion!

Such as a display of dinner roll fireworks flying through the air. This is what happened to a very Fire Element colleague of mine and her Wood Element husband, at an Easter dinner hosted at their house. As tensions got “hot” in the kitchen, she and her husband started pelting each other with fresh out of the oven dinner rolls, as their startled guests and her horrified mother looked on. Though, their guests took it in stride, even laughing about it later, her mother was not amused. Needless to say, future gathering were moved to her more grounded brother’s house.

And that brings us to Earth Element people. These folks are nurturing, calm and grounding. They are the givers, the incredibly kind, caring and reliable people. They have a strong sense of connection to others and community and you will often find them at the center of activity with family and friends. But this same quality can cause them to drain themselves by over giving and not ask for help when they need it, which can cause them to feel like a victim, or at the extreme, become resentful. When this happens, they can stop giving. They ofter to bring the casserole or shop for the gifts, but then they turn up empty handed.

My friend Margaret’s brother is a very Earthy guy, and he had stared to become drained from over extending himself. But as usual, he generously offered to pick her family up from the airport, when they returned from vacation. However, on the day of their flight home, as they were in route to the airport, he called to say he was tired and couldn’t make it, and told her to rent a car instead.

Metal Element folks are the visionaries. They are highly sensitive and adept at creating beauty and value out of the simplicity of the mundane. They have impeccable manners, notice every detail, and graciously adjust their energy to those around them. However, because they are so attuned to others energy and their surroundings, they can become moody and anxious. When this happens, they become overly sensitive to criticism, sharp with their words, or slip into denial. As in, “if we just don’t look at the elephant in the room, it isn’t there.”

My best friend from college had a very metal nature, and one night when we were on our way to meet up with friends, the muffler fell of her car. We heard a loud noise and saw sparks flying in the rearview mirror, and passerby’s were honking their horns trying to alert us to the dragging muffler. When I advised her that we should probably pull off to the side of the road, she just look at me and replied, “it’s fine, just turn up the radio and we won’t hear it anymore.”

And last but not least, we wind our way down to Water Element people. These are the innovators and adventurers. Powerful, deep, mysterious and intuitive. They carry a deep sense of wisdom. And although they appear easy going, Water Element people have strong independent natures and don’t easily share their thoughts or emotions with the outside world. In fact, under stress, they can become fearful or loose their voices. At the extreme, they can become paranoid or have the tendency to be quite secretive. Only telling you what they think you need to know.

The business manager at my husband’s former company had a lot of Water Element personality traits. He once cleverly opened some of his colleagues greeting cards at the annual holiday party, and used the gift cards inside to pay for a few rounds of drinks. He then secretly put the used gift cards back! Imagine the shock when those employees opened their greeting cards only to find a spent holiday bonus inside! (My husband was one of those employees.) Though he eventually, and quietly, left replacement cards on each of their desks a few weeks later… without any explanation.

So now, when I gather with my family and friends to celebrate the holidays, I find a nice comfortable chair and settle in to enjoy the season’s festivities. As I sip my glass of chardonnay and munch on a few hors d’oeuvres, I watch to see which of the Five Elements are going to be naughty or nice!

Wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season and a Happy New Year! See you in January!