“It was so overwhelming,” I sighed, to my friend Maria on the phone, as I recounted my recent trip to my daughter’s newly leased campus apartment. “The bathroom looked like it hadn’t seen a sponge or a bottle of Fantastik in years!”
“That does sounds a bit daunting,” Maria agreed, “How long did it take to scrub it all down?”
“Hours!” I groaned. “It was such a big task that I could only focus on one piece of the job at a time.”
“I feel the same way about my goals,” Maria mused. “It sometimes feels like I am never going to be able to achieve them.” I agreed, as I thought about how may times I start out excited about a new project, only to let it fizzle out halfway through.
I like to think of my goals as the stars of the show, the end point I want to get to. They’re always so bright and sparkly… and very far away. But what I have learned over time is that goals are not a singular thing, they are a part of a process. And all the steps in-between are a set of processes that lead to the final outcome.
Those steps in-between are where the real magic happens, where our stories begin to unfold and take shape. And like a beautiful garden, they take time to cultivate and need to be pruned along the way. Which means that as much as I want to get to that end point, they simply can not be rushed.
Often, I find that if I am struggling with those steps, some questions start to emerge. Author and podcaster, Forrest Hanson, suggests “focusing on the real end goal that you’re trying to reach. What is your why?” Because sometimes we may find that we did not write it for ourselves or that our expectations are unclear. Do you really want to wake up early to train for that that 5k run with your friend, or would you rather go for a morning walk with them instead?
It can be daunting when our goals seem unrealistic or too far out of reach. Those are the ones that need to be reassessed and pruned. Perhaps it’s better to focus on smaller targets, like starting with a blog instead of writing a novel! It can be difficult to let go of a dream, but refining it keeps it within reach.
Sometimes the goal is just to push through as fast as possible, like cleaning the bathroom in my daughters new apartment. I intensely wanted to get it done. But I have learned to be consistent rather than intense. Passion burns out, consistency remains. I may not have been thrilled, but as I steadily continued to clean, I felt energized as each small task was complete. Gradually, what seemed like an insurmountable goal, began to feel obtainable.
And yeah, some goals are going to fail, we’re not going to cross every finish line. But those are the ones that usually teach us valuable lessons. The ones that shape us and become part of our ever evolving story.
But no matter how much we prune and refine, if we don’t create an environment to thrive, we probably won’t succeed. Because it will take discipline, consistency, joy and strength. And above all else, community.
As author and keynote speaker, James Clear once said, “The goal is not to finish the painting, the goal is to become an artist.” And the in-between steps are the becoming. Where life is lived and our stories unfold. Because that’s where the real magic happens.
Elemental Energies 